As my father used to say..."if it ain't one thing, it's another." He was usually talking about something breaking around the ranch, or maybe some trouble I had found myself in. Today I am applying that saying to my life more and more particularly in the area of women..and especially during February. What is it about some damn HEB chocolate, roses, and whatever else deemed romantic that drives women to search for love during such a frigid month?
Yes, I'm talking about all women! Ones that are single are sitting up more and taking notice of those around, married ones are looking at their significant and praying for a smoking hot V-day, and then there is the tortured souls. The tortured soul is that heart that is in a relationship/marriage but just isn't happy with what they have. They won't openly look for others but given the right amount of alcohol, strange location, words, attention, and a attractive guy then they'll confess anything to hear words of happiness. How do I know...well maybe you don't find yourself in these situations but I do. Here's just a current snapshot.
There are a few women that are in relationships telling me they love me. A couple of women that want to jump into a relationship prior to any dates, some that I've dated and want me to try again, and one that wants nothing to do with me but still loves me. It happens...and this February is shaping up to be one for the record books. The weird part is that 90 percent of theses women approached me.
Recently while explaining this phenomena about women approaching me it really came out wrong...or perhaps it was who I was explaining it too? She happened to women liking me to me being a "bug light." She thought it was funny and proceeded to use it alot. I'm sure it's copyrighted by now. I prefer another's opinion who said I was "temptation incarnate" although I believe "carnage" would work better. She says women are just drawn to me. Her words not mine. Whatever the case...it's not me, but for some reason or another I get lucky in the amount of women that approach me. However this strange event doubles in numbers around February. I believe its that search for love that has even the quietest woman ready to unshackle the confines of mediocrity to chance on something wild, adventurous, and outside the box.
I clearly maintain that it's not me...that I am just a guy! Quiet and in the back....unless I'm bored and cutting up about something. I'm not going out of my way to approach anyone and the few times I have they have clearly ended in "epic fail." I'm telling you it's this chaotic ritual of finding/proving your love during the month of February that has women clamoring for men. Yes it's true...I've experienced it. I even buy into it....sending the flowers...picking out the chocolate (even if it's not the kind I like but she will), and looking for the right gift that says I like you don't run off just yet! But this Valentine's Day I'm fighting back!
I'm not buying any strange women anything...and my Wells Fargo checking account and my credit score will be the better for it. In fact it's a little happiness I find and smile to myself thinking about time I won't be standing reading the cards...is this one too funny, too serious, too playful, would she really like it in Spanish? There won't be any over buying of candy because you know it's a few days away but you haven't quite figured out which kind of candy to go with...so you buy a little of everything hoping to cover your bases. Flowers...no there will not be an awkward silence on the other end of the line (maybe its just awkward to me?) as the florist reads back exactly what you want said on the card. Or laughs at weird requests like black roses. (yes, she didn't like red, and white was too pure) It's degrading sometimes the things we're drug through to make them feel all nice and cozy...and sometimes they are worth it.
However, I'm not falling for it this year! So heed this warning if you are one of those crazy, delusional, has to have the love of your life on Valentines Day or else you'll just die women...do not seek me out! Your unsolicited approaches will be rebuked, all offers turned down, numbers will not be called, and facebook friend requests will be ignored. You are on your own for the month of February....but feel free to try back in March. I'm a sucker for a bikini :-)
No mi corazón para usted
LB
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
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